PLEASE buy my book. If I sell enough copies I will FINALLY have an answer when my mother asks me, "So when are you going to get yourself a REAL job?" KELPIE DREAMS is a 2016 Kindle Scout winning novel! What's it about? Meet Lady Macbeth--a high school librarian, ex-assassin, and part-time kelpie, whose mother wanted to name her Hemorrhoid at birth. Now she has to take on a Sea Hag--eight legs of Godzilla-ugly poured into a bucket full of meanness--with the help of a one-woman army named Rhonda, a 200-year-old Sea Captain, and a hunky lighthouse keeper who won't admit that he's dead as well. KELPIE DREAMS is a funny, action-packed, shoot-em-up paranormal romance novel for folks who HATE to read romance novels. What SOME reviewers are saying about Steve Vernon's KELPIE DREAMS! "It didn't suck." "A so-so beach read, but don't get any sand in your Kindle e-reader." "A good book. It had pages and a cover and words in between." "I think I read this, didn't I?" "He wrote what?" Here's what OTHER reviewers are saying about Steve Vernon's KELPIE DREAMS! "If Harlan Ellison, Richard Matheson and Robert Bloch had a three-way sex romp in a hot tub, and then a team of scientists came in and filtered out the water and mixed the leftover DNA into a test tube, the resulting genetic experiment would most likely grow up into Steve Vernon." - Bookgasm "Armed with a bizarre sense of humor, a huge amount of originality, a flair for taking risks and a strong grasp of characterization - Steve's got the chops for sure." - Dark Discoveries "Steve Vernon was born to write. He's the real deal and we're lucky to have him." - Richard Chizmar "Nobody opens up a can of cat food, like Steve whats-his-name. The guy can skritch my ears like nobody's business!" - Steve's cat, Kismet WHO ARE YOU GOING TO BELIEVE???